Bike Porn

Bicycle pornography comes in many forms, from lust for parts and bikes to the stimulation of a wonderful ride. Well, the past couple weeks has me "fixie-ated" on a new bike, a fixed gear or "fixie". Why? It is a new challenge, a new skill and the chance to get my hands dirty again with a build from a vintage bike. Problem is scouring Ebay and Craig's List has netted no results. Frustration -- the other side of porn I suppose. For the uninitiated, a fixie has one gear and no brakes (for the most part.) It is direct drive, you must pedal or the wheel locks up -- no coasting like a freewheel. I presume it will be hugely challenging to learn and feel secure riding a fixie. They get their renown from being used by bicycle messengers in cities like NY and San Francisco. Imagine bombing (or climbing) the hills of SF -- it is amazing to watch.

So, if anyone can point me to a vintage Bianchi or Raleigh in decent shape with a 51-53 cm frame, it would be much appreciated. Besides, like good porn it is hard to keep hiding my Ebay time from Nifi, I have almost been caught a couple times... doesn't anyone knock anymore?

Secondly, bike porn came in the form of what could be "phone sex" or more accurately "spin sex." Saturday's substitute instructor was good and used terminology like "add some more road" to have us up resistance. She had us focus on our quads, hamstrings and glutes. But when she had us focus on squeezing, straining and pushing so we could "feel the riot in our butts" she lost me. What...? What...? A riot where? Watts in the '60s was one thing, my rear is another thing all together -- and I want no burning, glass breaking or pillaging anywhere near my derriere. "Riot In Your Butt", it sounds like a bad porn film... How about "Shaving Ryan's Privates" or "Trick or Teat II - The Witches of Eastit" Being release just in time for Halloween. Riot my ass. I'll have nothing to do with that!

On a serious note, please keep Fat Cyclist, Elden and his wife, Susan and family in your prayers as Susan fights her rapidly spreading brain cancer. I don't know the man, but from his writing I am inclined to call him "Friend."

Spin On