How Fat Am I...?

That was pretty much the thought I had when I met with the trainer, Tony for the first time.

T3 (Tony The Toner) got me in the system, talked about goals and diet. I of course, lied about my beer and wine consumption. Then it was time to measure body fat. They have this contraption the looks like something out of Woody Allen's "Sleeper" a machine called The Orgasmatron. It is supposed to measure your BMI by air rather than in a water tank. Basically, I think it is BS because as I sat in this pod contraption in my chamois and swim cap... eeew... basically nothing happened -- just a couple clunks. The machine told T3 that I was 31.8% body fat. Now, if it had said 31.8% bloated liver I would have believed it. None the less, by diet and exercise I should trim down to 14% body fat and replace it with lean muscle. Great. The indicated diet calls for 1800 calories a day. One good ride burns 1600. That leaves me a handful of granola and a peek at a glass of water a day. I may not be Kate Moss, then again I don't have her cocaine addiction either.

Next visit -- the ball of pain.

Spin On